When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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