you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There are leaves in my underwear?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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