new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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