I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
