He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
