I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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