i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
