Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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