she looked like the before picture.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
