i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
