The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
