i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
