I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
