Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
