This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
