just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
