i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You're like the curious george of whores
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
