Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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