He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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