i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
