a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
