i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
