Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
