I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
