I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
