There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
