He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
