I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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