I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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