90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
