All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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