Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
