bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
