FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
