SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
