is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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