he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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