I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
