And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
