I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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