honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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