I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
