It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
