Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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