I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
