I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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