I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
