Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
