that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
