I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
